idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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