I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
