I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
