Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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