the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Randomize
