I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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