So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Randomize
