This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
