No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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