you guys were way drunker than both of me
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
