idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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