How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
