apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Drunk is not a location!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
