and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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