He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
