she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
only you would photoshop your dick
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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