Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Rumble strips road head = magical
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
