Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Its about making memories worth repressing
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
