I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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