I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Randomize
