your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
