i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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