Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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