home. puking in laundry basket.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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