so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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