What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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