We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
