i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I am midnight drunk by noon
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
