i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
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