He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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