Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
