hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
