Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
