I never want to see another naked old woman again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize