Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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