I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
