First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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