I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
