my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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