So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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