i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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