it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Randomize
