there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
