A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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