Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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