My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
