I am puke
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize