I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize