I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
