drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The beer is more important than you right now.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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