Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
