what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize