rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
