Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
