I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
