I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
