Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
