I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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