he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize