Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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