i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
of course. lets lasso hookers.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
