Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
