they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
