Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
