The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
