if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
