My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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