Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
