A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
