well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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