Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i dont even know how to be here
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
