clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
