I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Operation Purity has been aborted
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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