She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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